Christmas Songs That Need to Go Away

I want to come out in the open and just admit that I love Christmas. I love the decorating and I enjoy shopping for people. I even like spending time with my family, as weird as that is. My favorite part, though, has to be the music. I love Christmas music, and I look forward to listening to it all year long. I'll admit it, I've already put on a Christmas album a time or two this year, even though we're only half-way through November. Don't worry, I listen in my ear buds - I don't subject others to holiday joy until it's the proper season.

Just because I love Christmas music, though, doesn't mean I love all Christmas music equally. So, for everyone's edification, I complied a list of the five most annoying Christmas songs. Some of them aren't that bad at first, it's the repetition that gets you. Some of them are ear worms that will haunt your brain for days. Some of them are just annoying to me personally, and some of them I still listen to once in a while. This is my blog, I don't have to be consistent. Oh, and I've provided you with video so you can punish yourself by listening if you want.

#5 - Baby it's Cold Outside 

This one falls into the creepy lyrics category. It's actually kind of a fun, slightly jazzy tune that you can snap your fingers to, assuming you live in a 1950s cliche. When you listen to the words, though, you realize it's really highlighting a whole different type of 1950s cliche, one where the guy won't won't take no for an answer, and finally slips his girlfriend a roofie. What, you never heard her say, "Hey, what's in this drink?" before? Although, I do enjoy the versions you hear now and then where the girl sings the creepy rapist part and the guy is the one trying to leave.


#4 - Little Drummer Boy

There are several different levels on which this song manages to bother me. First off, it's repetitive and annoying and usually sung by creepy boy's choirs. Secondly, the whole premise is flawed. It's been a while since I went to church, but I don't remember the bible mentioning  a kid with a drum at the manger scene. Plus, it's a kid with a drum! I'm not a parent, but I'm pretty sure the best recipe for getting your new born baby to sleep is NOT a hyperactive eight-year-old who wants to "help" by banging a drum.

#3 - Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

I know that this song is beloved of children the world over, and that is exactly why it's on this list. This is the first Christmas song that every kid learns, and then sings over and over and over. I don't even have a small child in my home on a regular basis, and I'm still sick of it. Add to that the annoying, shouted refrain - "Like a LIGHT BULB!" - and the song should be outlawed by the Geneva Conventions. I promise I'm not a crotchety kid hater, just a crotchety Rudolph hater.

#2 - 12 Days of Christmas

Okay, I admit, I like singing this song. I even listen to it a few times each season as I'm dusting off my Christmas music. But after two or three listens, I'm done. It's the epitome of repetitious, annoying music. It's like the composer was being paid by the word, so he made sure everything that had already been sung was sung again before you can add anything new. And there are a million versions. You can never hear it just once, you have to hear every singer and choir's version of the madness. Plus, every version has a different item for days 9-12, and that is just annoying. Everyone knows it's 9 Ladies Dancing, 10 Lords A Leaping, 11 Pipers Piping and 12 Drummers Drumming. Get it right!

#1 - Any "Novelty" Song

You know what I mean. I'm talking about abominations like Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer, All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth, I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, and I'm Getting Nuttin' for Christmas. I'm sorry if you think you enjoy the novelty songs, but you are wrong. They are annoying and it makes me weep inside that some of them have reached the point where they are now standards for the holiday. No one should ever have to hear these songs against their will. And if they do want to listen to them, it's probably a sign that something is wrong and a cry for help. I'm not posting a video, no one deserves that.