My boyfriend really likes Legos. We have lots and lots of those little plastic bricks in our house, and most major holidays that involve the exchanging of gifts end up being mostly an exchange of Lego sets. He's sucked me in as well, and now I trawl the Lego aisle at the store just as eagerly as he does, looking for new sets of my favorite types.
Well, the latest thing we've gotten into is Lego trains. Did you know that Lego has train sets you can buy that actually run? That means that not only do you get the fun of building the set, you get to play with it and totally freak out the cat. It's really the best thing ever. We have one that is already built, a bunch of extra track, and two more trains that will be unwrapped on Christmas morning.
Today, the boyfriend was looking at YouTube videos, and one of them gave him an idea. Someone ran track all through their house and created an elaborate three-way intersection. Then, they ran three different trains that were timed just right so that they all got to the intersection at the same time. Here, I'll just show you:
Doesn't that look fun? I know what we'll be doing on Christmas morning. Anyone who wants to join in is welcome to stop by.
After I graduated from high school, I did my first two years of college at Snow College in Ephraim, UT. I really had a good time there - I lived with friends, I enjoyed my professors and classes, I got to go on tour to Europe with the orchestra, and I felt like I got a great value for my money. I would recommend Snow to anyone who isn't going to mind being stuck in a small town with not much going on outside of the college.
However, there is one thing I do NOT miss. Ephraim is in Sanpete County, a place otherwise known as the turkey capital of the world. Okay, maybe not the capital of the world, but seriously, there are lots of turkeys there. There aren't just more turkeys than people in the county, there are many times more turkeys than people.
And turkeys stink. They make a foul odor (fowl odor?) that is carried everywhere in the valley. The closest turkey farm from the campus was several miles away on the edge of town, but everyday walking to class smelled like you were next door to one of those huge turkey sheds.
My favorite Ephraim moment had to do with the unique turkey odor. I was still in high school and taking a tour of the campus. Our tour guide was telling us all about how the campus was fun, and there are tons of things to do, basically trying to sell us on the school. Well, right in the middle of his spiel, two girls walked out of the student center building and had this conversation. Girl One, "Augh, it stinks!" Girl Two in a resigned of voice, "It's Ephraim, it ALWAYS stinks." Watching the perky tour guide try to recover from that was pure joy.
Wait, did I say that there are more turkeys than people in Sanpete County? I don't think that's actually accurate right now. You see, every year around the beginning of October, a magical thing happens. The turkey sheds, which previously were overflowing with big-breasted birds, are suddenly empty and abandoned. The air smells of normal fall things like wood burning stoves and not putrid bird droppings.
Yes, the turkey harvest had come at last. I always felt a little bit sad that so many turkeys going to meet their maker at this time of year made me so happy, but the feeling usually passed when I thought about the roast turkey and stuffing I'd be enjoying on Thanksgiving Day.
Tomorrow morning is the official start of the Turkey Day chaos. I know it's a day earlier than the actual holiday, but I have lots to do.
I wrote a while ago about how I volunteered and lobbied to host the big family Thanksgiving dinner at my house. Then, when I got what I asked for I started wondering why I wanted to do this in the first place.
Well, since then I've gotten organized. The turkey is in the fridge, ready to be plunked in the brine first thing tomorrow morning. All the groceries are anxiously waiting their part in the big day. I've made assignments to various family members so I don't have to worry about it all. Everything is ready to start getting ready, and now I'm just waiting.
I feel like this is something of a calm before the storm. But I'm looking on the bright side. If craziness does happen, I'll have more things to write about on the blog!
I started November (technically, I started on the 5th) planning
to write a blog every day for the month. I've been doing pretty well, posting each day and
finding something to write about. That is, until last Thursday. Thursday I was busy doing
something else, and that started a slide into horrible, horrible
procrastination and I haven’t written a blog since.
For those of you counting, that’s five days I am
behind, counting today. I don’t think I’ll write five entries today, unless the
inspiration fairy REALLY hits me hard, but I will try to catch up as soon as
possible. I am a firm believer in getting things done, even if they get done a little
later than I originally intended.
Also, this counts as one of those missing days. As I've said before, this is my creative exercise, so I get to set the rules. Don't try to begrudge me my cheater entries!
I'm going to guess that if you are reading this, you have some free time to kill and are choosing to entertain yourself via the internet. I'm going to go even further out on a limb and deduce that if you are taking time to read something I wrote, you enjoy my sense of humor, at least a little bit.
With all of those rash assumptions behind us, allow me to proceed onward. Today I'm going to share some of my favorite places to waste time on the internet. These are mostly places that I find amusing, but some of them are informative or interesting. These are all places I like to go and kill time when online, and I hope you enjoy them as well.
These three webcomics are created by husband and wife dynamic duo Drew and Natalie. They both have their own, quirky sense of humor that comes out through their individual comics (Drew draws Toothpaste for Dinner and Natalie draws Natalie Dee), and they collaborate on the ever delightful Married to the Sea, where they take old-fashioned line drawings and add captions. The best part is, the site includes an archive of all the comics, so you have enough material to waste a whole day!
Another webcomic I love is XKCD. This one has more of a geek/nerd angle; the subtitle on the main page says it's "A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language." You can't get any better than that, right? Oh, and when reading this one, don't forget to hover over the comic for a hidden message. Sometimes those are even more funny than the comic itself.
Speaking of geekiness, I absolutely love The Mary Sue. It's a compendium of geek news and funnies from around the web that bills itself as a guide to girl geek culture. Now, boys, don't be afraid of the feminine slant; I get all the same stories you find on other websites like i09 and Geeks are Sexy. It's just that additional stories that are interesting to women are thrown in sometimes as well. It really makes my day when I hear about some rumor or new piece of geeky news from this site before my boyfriend hears about it from all the sites he checks.
This tumblr documents the misadventures of everyone's favorite thunder lizard, T-Rex. Unfortunately, T-Rex can't do most of the things that he tries, due to his tiny little arms. The artist does a great job walking the line between making it funny, and making us actually feel bad for the poor guy. He does get a win once in a while, though.
While we're on the topic of amusing tumblrs, I can't not mention Ugly Renaissance Babies. This site is the a great mix of truly odd (usually) religious artwork and comments pointing out the strangeness. They don't add captions like a lolcat, instead they let the pictures speak for themselves, and just comment on the truly bizarre. And there is plenty of bizarre to go around, don't worry.
"The Christ Child gazes into your soul... and also somewhere over your shoulder, I guess. I'm not really sure."
If you haven't yet discovered the joyful joyousness that is The Oatmeal, go there now. I'll wait..... There, now that you're properly educated, we can both agree that Matthew Inman (the creator of all awesomeness on The Oatmeal) is an interwebz god. The comics on the website range in topic from kitties to grammar to how to punch a dolphin in the face, and somehow he makes them all funny and informative at the same time.
There you go, faithful blog readers. Now you have a useful guide to follow if you ever want to understand my sense of humor. Or, if you choose not fixate at on me for some strange reason, you have a list of funny sites to visit and kill some time. Enjoy!
I want to come out in the open and just admit that I love Christmas. I love the decorating and I enjoy shopping for people. I even like spending time with my family, as weird as that is. My favorite part, though, has to be the music. I love Christmas music, and I look forward to listening to it all year long. I'll admit it, I've already put on a Christmas album a time or two this year, even though we're only half-way through November. Don't worry, I listen in my ear buds - I don't subject others to holiday joy until it's the proper season.
Just because I love Christmas music, though, doesn't mean I love all Christmas music equally. So, for everyone's edification, I complied a list of the five most annoying Christmas songs. Some of them aren't that bad at first, it's the repetition that gets you. Some of them are ear worms that will haunt your brain for days. Some of them are just annoying to me personally, and some of them I still listen to once in a while. This is my blog, I don't have to be consistent. Oh, and I've provided you with video so you can punish yourself by listening if you want.
#5 - Baby it's Cold Outside
This one falls into the creepy lyrics category. It's actually kind of a fun, slightly jazzy tune that you can snap your fingers to, assuming you live in a 1950s cliche. When you listen to the words, though, you realize it's really highlighting a whole different type of 1950s cliche, one where the guy won't won't take no for an answer, and finally slips his girlfriend a roofie. What, you never heard her say, "Hey, what's in this drink?" before? Although, I do enjoy the versions you hear now and then where the girl sings the creepy rapist part and the guy is the one trying to leave.
#4 - Little Drummer Boy
There are several different levels on which this song manages to bother me. First off, it's repetitive and annoying and usually sung by creepy boy's choirs. Secondly, the whole premise is flawed. It's been a while since I went to church, but I don't remember the bible mentioning a kid with a drum at the manger scene. Plus, it's a kid with a drum! I'm not a parent, but I'm pretty sure the best recipe for getting your new born baby to sleep is NOT a hyperactive eight-year-old who wants to "help" by banging a drum.
#3 - Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
I know that this song is beloved of children the world over, and that is exactly why it's on this list. This is the first Christmas song that every kid learns, and then sings over and over and over. I don't even have a small child in my home on a regular basis, and I'm still sick of it. Add to that the annoying, shouted refrain - "Like a LIGHT BULB!" - and the song should be outlawed by the Geneva Conventions. I promise I'm not a crotchety kid hater, just a crotchety Rudolph hater.
#2 - 12 Days of Christmas
Okay, I admit, I like singing this song. I even listen to it a few times each season as I'm dusting off my Christmas music. But after two or three listens, I'm done. It's the epitome of repetitious, annoying music. It's like the composer was being paid by the word, so he made sure everything that had already been sung was sung again before you can add anything new. And there are a million versions. You can never hear it just once, you have to hear every singer and choir's version of the madness. Plus, every version has a different item for days 9-12, and that is just annoying. Everyone knows it's 9 Ladies Dancing, 10 Lords A Leaping, 11 Pipers Piping and 12 Drummers Drumming. Get it right!
#1 - Any "Novelty" Song
You know what I mean. I'm talking about abominations like Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer, All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth, I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, and I'm Getting Nuttin' for Christmas. I'm sorry if you think you enjoy the novelty songs, but you are wrong. They are annoying and it makes me weep inside that some of them have reached the point where they are now standards for the holiday. No one should ever have to hear these songs against their will. And if they do want to listen to them, it's probably a sign that something is wrong and a cry for help. I'm not posting a video, no one deserves that.
Last summer the boyfriend and I bought a house. It’s a
lovely townhouse with lots of room for our little family. The house has a wide
open floor plan on the main level, with tons of space in the kitchen and dining
room. This was one of the factors that swayed us to buy this house, and since
we moved in I have had visions of myself hosting parties and family
get-togethers in my large, new space.
Because I have all this space now, I’ve been campaigning to
host Thanksgiving at my house instead of my parents’ this year. This wasn’t as
easy as you’d think. My family is not big on change, and we’ve always done
holidays at my parents’ house. But I got a couple of my sisters-in-law to help
me advocate for the change in venue, and my parents finally agreed to come see
me on Thanksgiving instead of everyone heading over the river and through the
woods to see them.
We just settled this all last weekend, and today the
implications of agreeing – nay, willingly volunteering – to cook a dinner
fraught with traditions and expectations for about 20 people are hitting me. I have
to cook a turkey and I’ve never done that before, at least not all by myself. I’ll
need to master the logistical issues related to the oven so that everything is
ready to eat at once. Do I have enough side dishes? Are there enough types of
pie for everyone? I only have six chairs
in my whole house, where will everyone sit? I have to pull this off, or I’ll
never hear the end of it and my beautiful new house will be wasted!
After a few deep breaths and some phone calls with my
sisters-in-law and my mom, I’m feeling better. I’ve put out requests
for assistance, and people are bringing everything from pies to green-bean
casserole to a high chair so the baby nephew doesn’t run amok. This just might
work out the way I want. All I have to do is make a turkey, and make sure my
house is clean. I can totally do that.
However, if you are coming to Thanksgiving at my house, you
should probably bring your own chair, just to be on the safe side.
