Teenage Ignorance is Entertaining

One of the things I enjoy most about going out to eat with my girlfriends is mocking the "special" teenagers who make up a large part of the wait staff. I'm not talking about nice restaurants or fancy establishments, these kids are working at fair-to-middling chain restaurants. I almost feel sorry for them because their service industry jobs expose them to the general public before their social skills are developed to a normal extent. On second thought, I don't feel sorry, they provide too much amusement.

Tonight I had a particularly awesome encounter with a teenage waiter. He was already struggling a little bit before we had even had time to interact with him in a serious way -- he tried to bring us the checks for a near-by table before we got our drinks and then totally forgot to bring us the bread basket.

The full extent of his specialness came out when we were ready to start boxing up left-overs. First of all, he couldn't take a single step in the process without running it by me first: Do you want a box? Do you want me to put it in the box for you? Should I put this in a bag? Do you want me to tie the bag? Yes, he asked if he could tie the top of the bag for me.

The best part, though, came when we were ready to pay. My wallet has the "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster on the front of it. The waiter saw that and went into convulsions of joy. Apparently, I'm cool and I have his approval because of my awesome wallet choices (I can die happy now!). He then started to ask me about all the different permutations on the Keep Calm and *blank* On theme, letting me know that it all started with something or the other -- I couldn't understand him, he was mumbling. I looked at him for a minute, trying to process his indistinct mutterings, and then I told him that the original poster originated with British propaganda in WWII. He mumbled something else, I really wasn't interested enough to listen, and he went on his little way.

As we were leaving, my friend said that her favorite thing about going places with me is that I'm the type of person who will treat snot-nosed teenagers to a blank stare, and then inform them that they are mistaken, and this particular bit of pop culture actually originated in WWII, etc. etc. So, the moral of the story is that I'm a bit of an ass, but my friends like me this way, so it all works out.